I am in Houston, as in Texas. You know the state that thinks it is a country within the USA. Don’t laugh, I’ve seen more state flags flying over the US flag here than US flags over the state flag. At the moment, I am being a Mimi and a mom. I left my business owner and student hat back in Orlando for when I return on Sunday or more likely, Monday early a.m. As with most times in my life, I have to wear a different hat with different people. Some call this compartmentalization; I call it coping. My grandson will be returning to Orlando with me so I will be a full time Mimi for some time to come.
My granddaughter, the Tween, is almost 12 (going on 16). I like to observe her become different identities depending on the people around her. When she is at home, she is fun, lively, funny, friendly and loving. Add one of her friends to that mix and another person emerges immediately. Today, it was a quiet friend so my Tween whispered to her friend; would only speak to me if spoken too; walked either 30 feet ahead or 30 feet behind me when in public (I am not sure what the “preferred” distance is but it seems to get longer the older she gets). This is a new era in our relationship. My daughter never went through this stage although her friends did. I was always cool and fun enough to hang out with. Not so with my Tween. If she even heard that word, she would cringe. She tells me she is not a tween but a young teenager. I tell her its semantics.
I am certainly the weenie meanie in this post. I hate controversy and chaos so I find myself doing whatever it takes to keep the peace, hence I am a weenie. I am only here for a few days, so why not. Pick my battles with my grand kids who have grown to despise one another. The usual fights of “he’s looking out my window”, “she locked her door”, “he is so immature”, “she is the worst sister ever” and on and on it goes. I want peace but there is only so far I am willing to be pushed to achieve that goal. One wants pizza and one wants a burger. Fine, we get both. One wants to watch Sponge Bob, the other wants DUFF. Fine we find a theater with both films showing and split up.
However, I lose my weenie hat and grab my meanie one the moment the verbal and physical behavior gets past #1. I have no patience for hate words, personal attacks or physical contact unless it’s a friendly hug. I become the meanie Mimi from hell. So far, it has been working and they have been really very good. I’m sure they are making a big effort to break from their normal familial interaction.
As I have said, my life is about to change in a big way. My youngest child was 9 years old over 15 years ago. I never thought I’d wear that hat again. Life has a way of surprising me though. My grandson is coming to stay with me for a bit and so I will once again being wearing new hat that I have never worn, the mi-mom hat. Being a Mimi and a surrogate Mom for a bit should be interesting with my schedule but I love my children and grand children and would climb to the moon for them if I had too!
lynnebollhoefer 